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That's me and my cat. I have never been sure how happy the cat was but I
seemed to be enjoying myself. And, of course, here I am sixty-seven years later.
seemed to be enjoying myself. And, of course, here I am sixty-seven years later.
"A youth has the face he was born with; an older man has the face he earned." Eric Blair (George Orwell)
Over the course of my life I have often been asked many personal questions about myself. I suppose this is from the nature of my life. I have assigned to myself the responsibility of being in deeply personal relationships with other troubled souls to bring some measure of harmony to the nature of their existence. Being a social dissident/hippie, surviving fifteen years of law-enforcement, near-death experiences, fiction and non-fiction author, therapist, seminar leader, educator, musician, monk in residence, health consultant—all this seems to generate curiosity about me. There's the perceived social strangeness of my being a Buddhist monk… but not of a traditional sort and not living in a monastery.
When people are seen as living beyond the pale, observers often want to know about them. People are curious. And, often times, the questions I have been asked were inappropriate to the social situation in which they were asked and by people not entitled to the information they demanded. I do not believe that everyone is entitled to know whatever they want, nor to demand their personal values be embraced by one and all. Yes, it's delicate. The associated assumptions of social media is that public knowledge of personal information is an entitlement of modern society. I disagree. A certain privacy about myself is crucial to a life well-lived. Knowing "a lot" about someone is an earned privilege.
Here are general answers to a few questions from the Proust Questionnaire. These, and my very brief autobiography, are enough.
What profession might you have pursued, if not law-enforcement and then therapist?
I suppose that would be a university professor in literature/author or being an excellent guitar musician would bring meaning and be acceptable.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would have liked to be a high-level professional musician (guitar).
Which musician do you most admire?
Either Miles Davis or Sonny Rollins… or Eric Clapton or John Scofield.
For me, choosing between these four is an impossible conundrum.
Which therapist (living or dead) do you most admire?
Sheldon Kopp. He was so comfortable with his humanness and insightful to the human condition. Carl Whittaker or Milton Erickson would be close seconds.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Recovering from my own addictions and writing my books. The second achievement, an extension of the first, arises from my being a practicing Buddhist and therapist helping others. They are all related.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
At the end of the day, after (hopefully) contributing to the well-being of someone, to rest with a good book, some jazz music, or a good movie, with a well prepared espresso as in a latte.
What is your greatest fear?
Not contributing enough to the benefit or welfare of others; or maybe with-holding truth out of fear.
What is your most treasured possession?
My hard-earned knowledge and insight—the lifestyle I have cerated… a certain personal wisdom. (Some people would certainly debate the degree of wisdom.)
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
As seldom as it arises, anger.
What is your favorite activity?
Being a good friend. Writing and contributing to the lives of others…
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I’ll have to think about that one. I know some people think I am tiresome by dragging the conversation back to 'more compassion' or 'being responsible' as often as I do, or the importance of a direct, soft-spoken honesty. I can be tiresome about compassion, responsibility, and honesty.
Where would you like most to live?
South-west corner of British Columbia, Canada. I am there.
What spiritual advance do you most anticipate or desire for society?
The significant reduction of righteous, religious convictions, with a corresponding increase of compassionate atheism. These are the focus of my work and books.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My outspoken and determined commitment to my belief that secular compassion in every relationship (which is outlined in the five spiritual principles I developed) is the best thing for everyone.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
There's two — Irresponsible dishonesty in blaming and anger.
What do you most value in your associates and friends?
Loyalty and commitment to responsible honesty. Compassion.
Who are your favorite writers?
Friedrich Nietzsche. Fyodor Dostoyevsky. James Jones. Arthur Schnitzler. Michel Foucault. Sheldon Kopp. In all fairness, there are literally dozens of favorite authors. I read a lot and have since I was ten.
Who is your favorite movie director?
If I could only pick one, Stanley Kubrick. Not all, but some of the films of Sidney Lumet and Sydney Pollack are a close second. Jim Jarmusch and Werner Herzog rank high on the list.
What is your greatest regret?
Not figuring out sooner that I was lost in addiction and what I wanted to do with my life. But then, I could never have arrived at the contentment I have now. A caveat: From about 35 years old, I have lived deliberately by my choice, avoiding cultural imperatives, taking responsibility for my decisions, and know that when I do die I'll not say to myself "Ah, gee, I wish I had done__that__."
I do what I want as I decide. It's a good life.
How would you like to die?
Quickly.
Over the course of my life I have often been asked many personal questions about myself. I suppose this is from the nature of my life. I have assigned to myself the responsibility of being in deeply personal relationships with other troubled souls to bring some measure of harmony to the nature of their existence. Being a social dissident/hippie, surviving fifteen years of law-enforcement, near-death experiences, fiction and non-fiction author, therapist, seminar leader, educator, musician, monk in residence, health consultant—all this seems to generate curiosity about me. There's the perceived social strangeness of my being a Buddhist monk… but not of a traditional sort and not living in a monastery.
When people are seen as living beyond the pale, observers often want to know about them. People are curious. And, often times, the questions I have been asked were inappropriate to the social situation in which they were asked and by people not entitled to the information they demanded. I do not believe that everyone is entitled to know whatever they want, nor to demand their personal values be embraced by one and all. Yes, it's delicate. The associated assumptions of social media is that public knowledge of personal information is an entitlement of modern society. I disagree. A certain privacy about myself is crucial to a life well-lived. Knowing "a lot" about someone is an earned privilege.
Here are general answers to a few questions from the Proust Questionnaire. These, and my very brief autobiography, are enough.
What profession might you have pursued, if not law-enforcement and then therapist?
I suppose that would be a university professor in literature/author or being an excellent guitar musician would bring meaning and be acceptable.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would have liked to be a high-level professional musician (guitar).
Which musician do you most admire?
Either Miles Davis or Sonny Rollins… or Eric Clapton or John Scofield.
For me, choosing between these four is an impossible conundrum.
Which therapist (living or dead) do you most admire?
Sheldon Kopp. He was so comfortable with his humanness and insightful to the human condition. Carl Whittaker or Milton Erickson would be close seconds.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Recovering from my own addictions and writing my books. The second achievement, an extension of the first, arises from my being a practicing Buddhist and therapist helping others. They are all related.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
At the end of the day, after (hopefully) contributing to the well-being of someone, to rest with a good book, some jazz music, or a good movie, with a well prepared espresso as in a latte.
What is your greatest fear?
Not contributing enough to the benefit or welfare of others; or maybe with-holding truth out of fear.
What is your most treasured possession?
My hard-earned knowledge and insight—the lifestyle I have cerated… a certain personal wisdom. (Some people would certainly debate the degree of wisdom.)
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
As seldom as it arises, anger.
What is your favorite activity?
Being a good friend. Writing and contributing to the lives of others…
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I’ll have to think about that one. I know some people think I am tiresome by dragging the conversation back to 'more compassion' or 'being responsible' as often as I do, or the importance of a direct, soft-spoken honesty. I can be tiresome about compassion, responsibility, and honesty.
Where would you like most to live?
South-west corner of British Columbia, Canada. I am there.
What spiritual advance do you most anticipate or desire for society?
The significant reduction of righteous, religious convictions, with a corresponding increase of compassionate atheism. These are the focus of my work and books.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My outspoken and determined commitment to my belief that secular compassion in every relationship (which is outlined in the five spiritual principles I developed) is the best thing for everyone.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
There's two — Irresponsible dishonesty in blaming and anger.
What do you most value in your associates and friends?
Loyalty and commitment to responsible honesty. Compassion.
Who are your favorite writers?
Friedrich Nietzsche. Fyodor Dostoyevsky. James Jones. Arthur Schnitzler. Michel Foucault. Sheldon Kopp. In all fairness, there are literally dozens of favorite authors. I read a lot and have since I was ten.
Who is your favorite movie director?
If I could only pick one, Stanley Kubrick. Not all, but some of the films of Sidney Lumet and Sydney Pollack are a close second. Jim Jarmusch and Werner Herzog rank high on the list.
What is your greatest regret?
Not figuring out sooner that I was lost in addiction and what I wanted to do with my life. But then, I could never have arrived at the contentment I have now. A caveat: From about 35 years old, I have lived deliberately by my choice, avoiding cultural imperatives, taking responsibility for my decisions, and know that when I do die I'll not say to myself "Ah, gee, I wish I had done__that__."
I do what I want as I decide. It's a good life.
How would you like to die?
Quickly.
